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Archive for August, 2011

Texting Codes for the Older Generation

Image001

ATD – At The Doctors

BFF – Best Friend Fell

BTW – Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth

FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA – Got Heartburn Again

IMHO – Is My Hearing Aid On

LMDO – Laughing  My Dentures Out

OMMR – On My Massage Recliner

OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFLACGU – Rolling On Floor Laughing And Can’t Get Up

TTYL – Talk To You Louder

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You’re not old!

ATHEIST IN THE WOODS, something to make you smile for the day

An atheist was walking through the woods.

What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look .  . . and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards  him.

He ran as fast as he could along the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him….

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer and then…… He tripped and fell.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him reaching towards him with its left paw and raising the right paw to strike  … 

At  that instant the Atheist cried out, ‘Oh my  God!’

Time Stopped…. 
The bear froze……
The forest was silent…..

A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky  …

“You deny my existence for all these years, you teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident …..

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?”

“Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light ….”It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now  …  but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?”

… a pause  … 

“Very well,” said the voice ….

The light went out.  

The sounds of the forest resumed …  

And the bear dropped his right arm brought both paws together bowed his head & spoke… 

“Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive.

Good to share!

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No one does it all alone!

You are not here to do it all alone. That would be crazy! Do you know how to grow rice, spin yard or make electricity? No one does it all alone. That’s why people have each other. Relying on and supporting each other is what makes the world go round. Don’t be shy about asking for help.

Romans 羅馬書 13:8-9

凡事都不可虧欠人、惟有彼此相愛、要常以為虧欠.因為愛人的就完全了律法。像那不可姦淫、不可殺人、不可偷盜、不可貪婪、或有別的誡命、都包在愛人如己這一句話之內了。

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

1 Kings 21

Ahab Takes Naboth’s Vineyard 
1 After these things had happened, this is what followed. A man named Naboth owned a vineyard in Jezreel, near the palace of Ahab king of Israel.
2 One day Ahab said to Naboth, “Give me your vineyard. It is near my palace, and I want to make it into a vegetable garden. I will give you a better vineyard in its place, or, if you prefer, I will pay you what it is worth.”

3 Naboth answered, “May the Lord keep me from ever giving my land to you. It belongs to my family.”
4 Ahab went home angry and upset, because he did not like what Naboth from Jezreel had said. (Naboth had said, “I will not give you my family’s land.”) Ahab lay down on his bed, turned his face to the wall, and refused to eat.
5 His wife, Jezebel, came in and asked him, “Why are you so upset that you refuse to eat?”
6 Ahab answered, “I talked to Naboth, the man from Jezreel. I said, ‘Sell me your vineyard, or, if you prefer, I will give you another vineyard for it.’ But Naboth refused.”
7 Jezebel answered, “Is this how you rule as king over Israel? Get up, eat something, and cheer up. I will get Naboth’s vineyard for you.”

8 So Jezebel wrote some letters, signed Ahab’s name to them, and used his own seal to seal them. Then she sent them to the elders and important men who lived in Naboth’s town.
9 The letter she wrote said: “Declare a day during which the people are to fast. Call the people together, and give Naboth a place of honor among them.
10 Seat two troublemakers across from him, and have them say they heard Naboth speak against God and the king. Then take Naboth out of the city and kill him with stones.”

11 The elders and important men of Jezreel obeyed Jezebel’s command, just as she wrote in the letters.
12 They declared a special day on which the people were to fast. And they put Naboth in a place of honor before the people.
13 Two troublemakers sat across from Naboth and said in front of everybody that they had heard him speak against God and the king. So the people carried Naboth out of the city and killed him with stones.
14 Then the leaders sent a message to Jezebel, saying, “Naboth has been killed.”

15 When Jezebel heard that Naboth had been killed, she told Ahab, “Naboth of Jezreel is dead. Now you may go and take for yourself the vineyard he would not sell to you.”
16 When Ahab heard that Naboth of Jezreel was dead, he got up and went to the vineyard to take it for his own.

17 At this time the Lord spoke his word to the prophet Elijah the Tishbite. The Lord said,
18 “Go to Ahab king of Israel in Samaria. He is at Naboth’s vineyard, where he has gone to take it as his own.
19 Tell Ahab that I, the Lord, say to him, ‘You have murdered Naboth and taken his land. So I tell you this: In the same place the dogs licked up Naboth’s blood, they will also lick up your blood!’ ”

20 When Ahab saw Elijah, he said, “So you have found me, my enemy!”
Elijah answered, “Yes, I have found you. You have always chosen to do what the Lordsays is wrong.
21 So the Lord says to you, ‘I will soon destroy you. I will kill you and every male in your family, both slave and free.
22 Your family will be like the family of King Jeroboam son of Nebat and like the family of King Baasha son of Ahijah. I will destroy you, because you have made me angry and have led the people of Israel to sin.’

23 “And the Lord also says, ‘Dogs will eat the body of Jezebel in the city of Jezreel.’
24 “Anyone in your family who dies in the city will be eaten by dogs, and anyone who dies in the fields will be eaten by birds.”

25 There was no one like Ahab who had chosen so often to do what the Lord said was wrong, because his wife Jezebel influenced him to do evil.
26 Ahab sinned terribly by worshiping idols, just as the Amorite people did. And the Lord had taken away their land and given it to the people of Israel.

27 After Elijah finished speaking, Ahab tore his clothes. He put on rough cloth, fasted, and even slept in the rough cloth to show how sad and upset he was.
28 The Lord spoke his word to Elijah the Tishbite:
29 “I see that Ahab is now sorry for what he has done. So I will not cause the trouble to come to him during his life, but I will wait until his son is king. Then I will bring this trouble to Ahab’s family.”

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